Dylan and Ares, oil on canvas, 2021

Artist’s Statement

I grew up in a low-income household just outside of St. Louis, in a neighborhood called Overland, a small town just distanced enough from the metropolitan area that it was leafy and green but threaded with the social and industrial hallmarks of a larger city. My mother waitressed for many years, and after giving birth to my younger brother, she switched careers to stay home with us. In our small house with only one bedroom, an attic, and a few wide hallways, she opened a home daycare for other children in the neighborhood. At the time, my father was a member of a country band and frequently out of town. As a result, I grew up in a household constantly overfilled with children, their parents at work or otherwise disposed. 

The paintings are loosely narrative, based on memories of specific events. While my own child-self is often included in these paintings, she is not necessarily the entry point. Rather, through composition and a subdued palette, I invite the viewer to “supervise” the children, re-understanding their interactions through an adult lens. There are a few common threads between some of the paintings: two long-haired twin boys, my brother and myself. The interactions between these characters underscore the underlying social tensions. A race to catch a loose fighting rooster poses my brother’s adolescent masculinity against my own developing femininity; two boys guard the entrance to a tube slide graffitied with all the curse words I would ever learn. My younger self floats in the water, unselfconscious, and later shields herself from spectatorship. 

The medium of painting was optimal for this project because the process allowed for constant editing, layering and revision. The task of making these paintings involves a struggle between accuracy and invention; I do not remember the exact geography of the backyards, or the clothes I was wearing. What I do remember is this: my brother fighting a rooster above me, my neighbor’s rickety above-ground pool collecting algae a yard over, the twin neighbor boys and their incongruously beautiful yellow hair.

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Graeler Park, oil on canvas, 2020